Like Father Like Daughter
by Shouhei
Summary: Sequel to "I Tried To Get Back To You" Lori is all grown up, but she's getting into some serious trouble! Is it too late to save her from herself? Chapter 8 now up! Please R&R!
1. I Luv New York

Disclaimer: I have dreams where I'm chasing the "deed" to Gilmore Girls, but I always wake up before I can catch it. Oh well, someday I shall catch it, but I still won't own it.  
  
A/N: You asked for a sequel, so you shall receive a sequel. Don't worry, I'm still writing But I Love Him, I just really want to give you a sequel. This starts sixteen years after I Tried to Get Back To You. The first time I published this chapter, I offended a New Yorker and I apologize for that. I was on a LOT of pain medicine, so I decided to go back and fix this chapter! I'm sorry if I offended you!  
  
Chapter 1: I Luv New York  
  
Lori Gilmore Mariano ran up the stairs to the apartment she lived in with her parents. It was the summer of 2020 and Lori was looking forward to a summer to spend with her best friends. She lived in New York, New York and had been there since she was four. After her mother graduated from Yale, she received a job at the New York Times and they relocated there. Her dad was an author and was in the middle of his fourth book. He graduated from Connecticut University with a major in literature. He was very successful and loved to write.  
  
Lori didn't know what she wanted to do with her life, but she had definitely inherited her father's love of the city. She loved to just roam around and check out everything. Lori was exposed to music from the time she was born, and her Aunt Lane gave her a guitar for her fifth birthday. She hadn't put it down and was in a band called 'Where For Art Thou' with three other guys. They were her best friends in the whole world and part of the reason she was such a Tomboy.  
  
(A/N: I know styles will have changed by 2020, but for my sanity I'm going to use the styles of 2004)  
  
Lori reached the top of the stairs and stormed into her apartment and grabbed her guitar. They had a really nice apartment and it was very spacious. Her father was sitting in their living room writing on his laptop. Her mother was still at work, but she'd be home by the time Lori got back from band practice. He raised his eyebrows when he saw her choice of clothing for that day.  
  
She was wearing a pair of wide-leg, baggy jeans that hung low and tight on her hips and butt. Her shirt, if you could call it that, was black and stopped about four inches above her belly button. Of course no outfit would be complete without her favorite black lace-up combat boots. Emily Gilmore tried to make her more girly, but it was impossibly. She was her father's daughter. Everyone said they looked exactly alike, except Lori got her mothers ocean blue eyes.  
  
"Bye Dad, I'm going to practice," Lori called as she raced to the door.  
  
"Bye, Dodger. When should you be back?"  
  
"Um... before dinner sometime," she called as she left.  
  
Only her dad called her Dodger, but he had never told her the exact reason why. He just skirted around the issue saying Oliver Twist was a great book. Lori knew there had to be another reason, but she didn't want to press the issue with him.  
  
Running out to the street, she whistled for a cab. That was a skill she had mastered by the time she was six thanks to her grandmother. Her Grandma Lorelai made her learn how to, and even though the whole 'whistle for a cab thing' was just in the movies, Lori did it anyways. A cab pulled over and she gave the driver the address to Riley's house. Riley was her best friend and he recruited her first to be the main guitarist in his band when they were fourteen. Riley saw her playing at an open mike night down at the local coffeehouse. Soon, they were best friends and nothing could tear them apart. Arriving at his apartment, she snapped out of memory lane and ran up hoping she wasn't late.  
  
"Hey guys, am I late?"  
  
"No, gorgeous. You're just in time," Logan said.  
  
Logan was the base guitarist of the group. He was born addicted to cocaine, and had an awful mother. No one knew much about Logan's past, but Lori knew he didn't like to talk about it. B.R., the group's drummer, saved him from a life on the streets when Logan was twelve. He and B.R. had been roommates for years. B.R. was a straight guy, and Logan was gay. They had no problems rooming together, and Lori loved that.  
  
Lori wasn't a bad kid, but growing up around her friends and band mates did make her a little wild. Her mother was very innocent and the perfect small town girl. While everyone in Stars Hollow thought Lori was the same way, she knew differently. Her parents had some idea that she wasn't as innocent as Rory was at her age, but they didn't have a clue to the extent of it. Lori grew up a lot quicker in New York than she would have in Stars Hollow. Lori was glad her life was the way it was, every time she visited Stars Hollow she was bored out of her skull.  
  
"Hey Riley, you ready to work?" she asked him while she picked up her guitar and began tuning it.  
  
"Of course! Let's rock!" he yelled.  
  
They spent hours working out all the kinks in their songs. They periodically got gigs to play at clubs or parties, and this Saturday they were playing at a party. Lori couldn't wait. She told her parents she was spending the night at her friend Leslie's house. They agreed to let her go, not knowing she was really going to rock! They let her play at her gigs, but she always had to be home at a reasonable hour. Lori wanted to spend the entire night with her boyfriend Josh. They had been dating for over a year, and she had sex with him a month ago for the first time. It hadn't been very romantic because she had to be home by curfew; she lost her virginity in the backseat of his jeep. This time, though, it would be different.  
  
"What are yous guys planning on doing after we're done playing at the party?" Lori asked them.  
  
"Eh, I'll probably hook up with a random girl as usual," B.R. answered.  
  
"I'll probably hook up with a random guy, as usual," Logan laughed.  
  
"I have no idea, I'll probably just find someone who isn't stoned to talk to," Riley told her. "What about you, Lori?"  
  
"I can't wait to spend some "quality time" with Josh," Lori told them using air quotes.  
  
All three guys laughed, and they discussed what songs they were going to perform. By five o'clock they had everything set up for the next day. Riley and Lori were the only two that had to come up with an excuse for where they would be since B.R. and Logan were roommates and lived without adults. Riley said he was going camping all weekend with some of his guy friends who were actually going camping, so he could have the entire weekend without having to go home. Lori and Riley planned to hang out the next day.  
  
Lori pulled out her cell phone to call Josh.  
  
"Hello," he answered his cell, out of breath.  
  
"Hi honey. What are you doing?"  
  
"Uh... I just ran, so I'm really tired, now. What do you need?"  
  
Lori thought she heard giggling in the background, but ignored it and replied, "Are you going to be at the party tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'll find you after your first set so you won't be distracted before you play," Josh told her.  
  
"Aw, that's sweet. So I'll see you then. I love you, bye."  
  
"Yeah, bye."  
  
Lori hung up the phone and smiled. It didn't occur to her that he hadn't told her he loved her back. It didn't occur to her that it was a girl giggling in the background. And, it didn't bother her that he didn't sound like he had just been running. Lori was in love, and love is blind.  
  
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Jess was working on his book when Rory came home. He had a deadline in a few months, and he wanted to get as far as he could before he went to Stars Hollow. Even though he tried to work, there was too much insanity around that place. Rory plopped down next to him on the couch and looked over his shoulder.  
  
"Hi, did you get a lot written today?"  
  
"Yeah, four pages. How was your day?"  
  
"Long. I love my job, but I'm ready for a break. I can't wait to go home!"  
  
"Neither can Lorelai. She's been leaving messages on our machine all day long."  
  
Rory laughed at her mother's antics and grabbed the cordless to call her back. They chatted about how life was going and how much fun they were going to have together. Even though Rory lived in New York, they still had a close bond. Jess says it's because Rory's umbilical cord was never completely cut, but Rory knows it's because they share a special link that only they have. Her and Lori were always able to talk about everything, but lately it seemed as if Lori was drifting away. Rory was going to ask her about what was going on once they went to Stars Hollow. There was something magical about that place and it could fix anything.  
  
Lori raced into the apartment just as Rory hung up the phone.  
  
"Hi Mom, who was that?"  
  
"Oh your Grandma Lorelai," Rory replied.  
  
"Great, we're going up their next weekend, right?" she confirmed.  
  
"Yeah, and then we will let the movie marathons begin!" Rory laughed.  
  
Jess rolled his eyes and called their favorite Chinese food restaurant and placed a take out order. Usually he liked to cook dinner, but he needed to write. Lori ran into her room to call Josh and told her parents to call her when the food arrived. The phone rang three times before he picked up.  
  
"Hey baby," he told her.  
  
"Hi Josh, are you psyched about Saturday?"  
  
"Totally," Josh replied. "Listen, sweetheart, I've got to go now so I'll catch you later."  
  
"Oh," Lori said with disappointment. "Right I'll see you Saturday."  
  
"I love you," she said after he had already hung up.  
  
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Saturday finally arrived and Lori packed a bag all set to spend the night at "Leslie's" place Her parents dropped her off, and she went to meet her alibi. They quickly hurried into her room and got dressed for the party. Lori only wore skirts if they were really short. This black skirt was no exception. The bottom of it when she bought it fell to her knees, but she shredded it all the way up so you could see the skin above her thigh high fishnet hose. Her garters were also visible when she walked or bent over, and her black G-String definitely made the outfit. Her signature black lace- up combat boots were on her feet and she wore an aqua tube top that fell several inches above her naval, showing off her piercing and tattoo. She took her hair down and brushed it smooth, and added five coats of black eyeliner and mascara.  
  
"Damn girl!" Leslie admired. "You look hot!"  
  
"So do you! Are you ready to go?"  
  
"You bet. Hey Josh is going to be there, right?" Leslie asked.  
  
"Yeah. I can't wait for him to see me."  
  
The girls ran to the street and hailed a cab to take them to the party. Logan and B.R. already had her guitar, because her parents would have gotten suspicious if she had taken it with her. Lori knew Josh was going to stay out of her way, but she had some time before their first set, and she wanted to know what he thought of her outfit.  
  
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Leslie started to wonder around the house, looking for someone who was dealing. Lori looked over at the keg and all the people who were getting it set up. She started to look for Josh, since she had a little time before the show. He said they could see each other after her first set since she had to prepare, but since her guys were taking care of it she figured she could surprise him. After a few minutes of looking downstairs she knew he wasn't there. Lori was about to give up when she thought she heard his voice upstairs. She hurried up the stairs to see if it was him.  
  
She thought she heard him in one of the bedrooms, so she opened the door. Lori's heart fell onto the floor when she saw what was going on. Josh was on top of some girl, fucking her. Lori couldn't say a word she was so heartbroken. Her brain couldn't process why Josh would cheat on her. He said he loved her. She loved him. Josh talked her into having sex with him.  
  
"You son of a bitch!" she screamed, when she realized he had been playing her.  
  
"What!? Oh my God, Lori!" Josh shrieked as he tumbled off of the girl. Then, Lori saw who the girl was.  
  
"Leslie!"  
  
"Look, babe, I'm sorry... but the opportunity was just here," Leslie explained.  
  
Before Lori could break down in front of them, she ran out of the bedroom. Before she could think everything through, B.R. ran towards her. Her head was spinning, but Lori heard something about playing. Riley gave her a questioning look when he saw the devastation on her face, but she avoided his gaze. It was a good thing music was in her soul, otherwise there was no way she could have pulled it off. She tried to look like she was having a good time, but she felt like Josh had just thrown her heart on the ground and stepped on it. Lori had given him her virginity, and he cheated on her with one of her best friends.  
  
"Yeah, we're going to take a break, so party on," she told everyone after they were done playing.  
  
She moved through the crowds of people and made her way to where the keg was. Lori stared at all the people around her drinking the disgusting liquid. She hated the taste of beer, but she knew nothing could be worse than the feeling she had. All she wanted was to be numb, and alcohol was the way to do that.  
  
Shoving people out of the way, Lori filled a plastic cup up and downed it. When it was done she made a face, but was filling the glass up again. She hadn't eaten anything all day, and by her third she was already drunk. She kept drinking, though, until Riley wondered into the kitchen and saw her.  
  
"Lori! What the hell are you doing? What's wrong?" he asked her taking the cup out of her hand.  
  
The beer hadn't numbed Lori to the world, and she broke down in Riley's arms. He held her for a while, but eventually she pushed him away. Riley reluctantly left her and didn't have a chance to help her escape when the cops came. Everybody made a run for it since they were minors and there was definitely some drug dealing going on. Lori staggered behind some people, but ran into a police officer. She fell onto the ground and stared up at him.  
  
"Miss, are you drunk?" he asked her.  
  
"Um... I think so. You see, I just saw my boyfriend fu... screwing my best friend. I had a few beers, but I don't think I'm drunk. Okay, yeah maybe I am a little drunk," Lori slurred in hysterics as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.  
  
"May I see some I.D.?"  
  
"Uh, no."  
  
"And why's that."  
  
"Shh," she whispered. "You see, I'm only sixteen."  
  
Lori broke down in tears again as the police officer handcuffed her. Once they got into the police car, he asked what her name was. She told him and he drove to the police station. He reminded her she only got one phone call, and then he left her to make the call to her parents. Usually, she would have called B.R. or someone to get her out of this, but the alcohol was affecting her judgment.  
  
"Hi, Dad," Lori garbled. "This is Lori. Though I guess you knew that because I'm your only kid."  
  
The absurdity of the situation made Lori laugh at the irony of it all. Josh had been having sex with her best friend for who knows how long, and she was the one who got arrested. In her mind, she had every right to drink after the night she had.  
  
"No Dad, I'm just fine. You see, I need you to come pick me up.... No, I'm not at Leslie's apartment because she's a boyfriend-stealing bitch. I'm at the police station."  
  
A/N: Okay, well I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of your sequel. Know that this isn't my priority right now, so the chapters may be a little more spaced out than I would like. Haha, I just got my wisdom teeth out today, and my cheeks aren't swollen at all! I bled forever, but my cheeks look the same as they did before! Ah, I'm so lucky! Please Review!!!!! 


	2. I Had Sex

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gilmore Girls, but someday I will and then you'll all stop laughing! muahahahaha!!!  
  
**A/N:** I must apologize for how awful the first chapter was before I fixed it! ugh! In my defense I had just gotten my wisdom teeth out so I was a little loopy! In response to someone's concern, this is going to be a little Lori-centric, but I will put some Literati in as well as some Java Junkie goodness! Thanx for the reviews pleez keep them going!  
  
**Chapter 2**: I Had Sex  
  
Jess and Rory were spending time together just the two of them since Lori was gone. They were snuggled up on the couch watching 'Casablanca.' Jess couldn't help but think how lucky he was to have such a wonderful family. If it weren't for Rory getting pregnant, he would never have had this life. That was one reason he was glad she got pregnant at that party. He smiled when he remembered the night Lori was born. Jess still couldn't believe Rory had actually given birth in the diner; that was the greatest night of his life.  
  
Rory had her head on Jess' chest and she heard his heartbeat, and thought about the news she had to tell him. She was a little nervous from what happened the last time. Not wanting to tell him at first, Rory blew up at him for no good reason. Once Luke and Lorelai sat them in a room together to work it out, she broke down.  
  
_Rory sat down on the couch staring at her hands. Lorelai asked her what happened to make her so angry at Jess. Poor Jess looked so upset and hurt by how mean Rory had been. It broke her heart. She knew none of this was his fault and she wanted to make everything right again.  
  
"Jess, I'm so sorry," Rory said as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. "I was... I mean, it's gone."  
  
Jess watched in horror as she broke into hysterics. He wrapped his arms around her and she let out all her anger and sadness out. At some point, Luke and Lorelai left them alone for Rory to tell Jess what happened.  
  
"What's gone, Rory. Please tell me," he pleaded, hoping it wasn't what he suspected.  
  
"I lost our baby," she sobbed.  
  
Jess felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. The only thing he could think to do was hold her in his arms until she cried herself to sleep. He felt awful that it had happened, and even worse that Rory didn't tell him. Sure he had been busy on his first book, but he never wanted her to go through something like this alone. Rory felt relief wash over her as she finally told him the truth._  
  
Rory snapped herself out of the terrible memory and knew that wouldn't happen again. She wouldn't let it happen again. Sitting up, she turned off the TV and Jess looked at her baffled by her actions. Before he could say anything, Rory took his hands in hers and smiled.  
  
"There's going to be some changes around here, you know."  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked her.  
  
"Jess, we're going to have a baby!" she exclaimed.  
  
She watched his reaction and stared at her with a blank expression on his face. Baby. A baby. Another girl. No. Maybe a boy. Or maybe... wow. A baby. He still stared. Barely blinking. Rory stared. She was waiting. Waiting for his reaction. A baby. Baby. A smile slowly spread across Jess' face. Rory's grin got even wider.  
  
"So? What do you think?"  
  
"I think we need to move into a bigger apartment!" he exclaimed as he twirled her around.  
  
Then, fear struck him and he set her back down on the couch. Rory saw the fear in his eyes, and knew it mirrored the fear in her heart. What if they lost this baby, too. Rory didn't think she'd be able to deal with that again. Comforting him, she put her hand on his face and rubbed his cheek with her thumb.  
  
"I'm fine, and the baby is fine. I went to the doctor to make sure before I told you. And we're healthy," she assured him.  
  
"Wow, I mean we're having another baby. Let's just hope this one doesn't get born in the diner, too," he joked.  
  
Rory laughed at him, and they started making out like teenagers when the phone rang. Jess kissed Rory one more time before answering the phone. Rory listened to his end of the conversation and didn't know what was going on, but she had a bad feeling about it. Hearing Jess sigh as he hung up the phone, she looked over to him and saw the solemn look on his face.  
  
"Who was that?" Rory asked him.  
  
"Lori, apparently she's in jail. She didn't sound right, not like herself I mean."  
  
"Jail! What are you talking about! She's supposed to be at Leslie's!" Rory cried.  
  
"Hon, don't get worried. For your sake and the baby's. Just calm down and I'll go pick her up, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Rory reluctantly agreed.  
  
Jess got into his car and drove to the prison where Lori was being held. It felt like deja vu, only with him on the other end. His mom had to pick him up from jail several times before she finally sent him off to live with Luke. That's when an idea hit him that he didn't like, but had a feeling it would be for the best. Jess decided he'd see what happened first, and then talk with Rory about his plan.  
  
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Lori was sitting in the jail cell, waiting for her dad to get there. The same image of Josh on top of Leslie kept coming into her head, and she knew her buzz was starting to wear off. That also meant she'd need a toilet or a trashcan in another hour or so. Lori wasn't new to getting drunk, but she did have a good reason for it. And that reason kept replaying itself over and over in her mind. Finally, she heard her dad's voice.  
  
"Dad!" she yelled, loudly while trying to stand up.  
  
"Oh my God, you're drunk."  
  
"Yeah, but you see... it wasn't my fault, at all." she slurred.  
  
"Okay, let's go home. We'll talk about this tomorrow," Jess said with a sigh.  
  
Lori tried to walk, but stumbled and ran into the wall. Jess took a deep breath and leaned all her weight on him and helped her make it to his car. He put her in the passenger's seat and then hurried around to his side of the car.  
  
"Dad. You know why I got drunk," she said.  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
"It's because I saw Josh fucking Leslie at the party. I mean I wasn't going to drink anything, but I keep seeing it over and over and over and over again! How could he do that to me!?" she babbled as anger built up inside of her. "I gave him everything! I'm going to kill him. Come on, let me out and I'll go kill him good."  
  
"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea," he told her, sad that Lori had to go through something so awful.  
  
Jess didn't even want to think about what she meant by 'everything,' but he had an idea he already knew the answer to that. His little girl probably wasn't so little anymore, and that punk had the balls to cheat on her. Jess knew he'd have to punish her for getting drunk, but the more he found out about it, the less he wanted to. Once they pulled up in front of their apartment, Jess helped Lori climb the stairs.  
  
"Jess, thank God your home!" Rory cried as Jess and Lori came into the apartment. "Oh my God, is she drunk!"  
  
"Yes, she is. She's very drunk and I heard a very interesting story about why, too."  
  
"Oh no!" they heard Lori groan as she ran for the toilet.  
  
"And there the joy of being drunk ends," Jess stated, sarcastically.  
  
"Should I check on her?"  
  
"No, it seems like she's done this a few times, before. She even enlightened me on a great recipe for a hangover drink."  
  
Rory's eyebrows raised as she watched her husband. "So what did she tell you? Why did she get drunk and lie to us?"  
  
"Well, from what I gathered by her ramblings is she went to a party, I'm guessing to play, and she saw Josh having sex with Leslie."  
  
"What!?" Rory shrieked.  
  
"Yeah, and then, she decided to get drunk. The cops raided the party and here we are. I had to fill in the blanks a little myself, but that's what I think happened."  
  
Rory just stared in shock, and then went into the bathroom to check on Lori. Even though what she did was stupid, Rory knew everyone makes mistakes when they're young. If she hadn't, Lori wouldn't be in existence. Lori had stopped getting sick, and was now passed out on the floor. She called Jess in, and he carried their daughter to her room to sleep off the awful night.  
  
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The light hurt. Everything in the room spun in circles. Struggling to get up. Head weighed down; everything hurt. Thirsty. Lori finally willed herself to sit up, and immediately regretted the decision as her head started pounding. Stumbling into the living room, she saw both her parents waiting for her. Knowing they'd want to talk, she stumbled past them and started making her way to the kitchen. She felt their eyes on her as she started making her drink. It tasted awful, but it was good for a hangover. When it was done, she downed it and felt a little better. Taking a deep breath she entered the living room.  
  
"Hi, uh I'm sorry about last night," she told them.  
  
"Lori, you and I are going to have a serious talk later, but right now I want to talk about what's going on," Rory told her with tears in her eyes.  
  
"I told you I'm sorry, I was upset and I needed to forget for a while."  
  
"Well, your mother and I have been talking and we think the best thing for you will be for you to spend the summer in Stars Hollow," Jess replied calmly.  
  
"What!?" Lori squealed, but then groaned as her head hammered again.  
  
"That turned me around, so we both think it would be the best thing for you. When we go up there on Saturday, you won't be returning with us," Jess told her, feeling badly for doing this, but knowing it was the right thing to do.  
  
"This is unfair!" Lori said as she glared at both her parents.  
  
"Unfair!" Rory said. "I'll tell you what's unfair. Finding out your daughter has been lying to you for God knows how long!"  
  
"Fine," Lori said and stood up to shower.  
  
In the shower, she finally let the gravity of the situation hit her. Josh cheated on her with her best girl friend. She felt her tears mix in with the steaming hot water and started to cry silently. Her mother said they were going to talk later, and she knew she had to tell her about having sex with Josh. Lori was angry with her parents, but she knew it was what they thought would be the best thing for her. Her mom always made things seem better, and she needed that right now.  
  
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Once she was fully dressed, she sat in her room until she heard her mother softly rap on the door. She told her to come in, and Rory stood in the doorway for a second watching her baby girl. Memories of her first steps, and her first day of kindergarten flooded Rory's brain, but she shook them away and sat next to Lori.  
  
"Hey babe. Do you want to tell me anything?" Rory asked her, softly.  
  
"Yeah. I know you're not going to like it, though." Lori said, and suddenly she felt like she was a little girl again, going to her mother for comfort.  
  
"That's okay, but I still want to know. It's okay. You can tell me." Rory said and braced herself for the words that were going to come out of Lori's mouth.  
  
"I had sex with Josh about a month ago."  
  
Rory took a deep breath; although she had been prepared somewhat for this, a mother could never fully be prepared to hear it in reality. Inhaling, she waited for Lori to continue. After the blur that was the night before, everything finally hit her. Lori gave Josh her virginity. She loved him with all her heart, and he made her feel so special. Now, Josh was sleeping with Leslie, making her feel the same way he had made Lori feel.  
  
"Mom, how could he do this to me. Why? Was I not good enough for him, is that why he slept with Leslie. Why?" Lori couldn't control the tears as they fell down her cheeks.  
  
"No, look at me Lori," Rory told her firmly. "You are too good for him. Do you hear me? He is a jerk and you are worth so much more than that."  
  
"I know, but I still love him Mom. It hurts so bad," Lori sobbed.  
  
Rory wrapped her arms around her daughter and just held her close. She remembered how she felt the few weeks Jess was gone. The pain was unbearable and she had similar feelings to those of Lori. The difference was that Jess came back. Josh cheated on Lori, and Rory knew if he tried to come back Lori would probably try to kill him.  
  
"Mom, can I have some time alone please?"  
  
"Sure, baby, I'll be in the other room. Who knows, maybe it will do you some good to go to Stars Hollow."  
  
"Yeah, maybe."  
  
"Oh, and Lori. Did you use protection?" Rory asked, slightly afraid of her answer.  
  
"Of course I did. Just like you always told me to."  
  
"Okay, bye Lori."  
  
Shutting the door, Rory put a hand on her stomach. She never wanted this child to leave her. As long as it was inside of her the world couldn't hurt it. Not like the world had hurt Lori. Jess heard the door shut and walked over to where Rory was staring into space. He led her away from Lori's room and just hugged her. Leaving Lori there was going to be hard on both of them.  
  
**A/N:** Okay, did you like it? Did you hate it? Please tell me!!! I hope you liked the changes I made to the first chapter I can't believe how awful it was... lol! Please Review!!!! 


	3. The Real Lori

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls... maybe once I'm rich and famous I shall be able to buy it. But until that day I will rely on my telepathic powers to make the show go the way I want it. They didn't work last season :(  
  
A/N: I'm sooooo sorry this took soooo long to be updated but I've been busy/lazy/uninspired. I'm in the middle of several other stories and I haven't had time to devote to this story. I think everyone should check out the story "O Citadel of Love" by GQSecondAct because it's wicked awesome and the author is awesome!!! Also please note my pen name changed, this time it's for good. Alright, now that apologies are out of the way please review and enjoy!!!!  
  
Chapter 3: The Real Lori  
  
Lori had passed being sad about what happened to her. She was now just angry. More than angry, she was furious. Lori packed her belongings in a suitcase and let the situation stew within her. She was only allowed to call her band mates and tell them what happened, and after that she was grounded until she got to Stars Hollow. Her mom had been nice about what happened, but now Lori just felt an enormous amount of hatred towards everything and everybody. After she was done packing, she met her parents in the living room so they could head to Stars Hollow.  
  
Jess and Rory were sitting on the couch and they could hear Metallica blasting in Lori's room. They knew she was upset about going to Stars Hollow, but they also knew it was for the best. They had barely seen her all week and Jess tried to stay out of her way as much as possible. Rory didn't let it get to her because she had to stay calm for her unborn child. They told Lori, and she was happy about having a brother or a sister, but she couldn't help but feel like they were going to abandon her for it.  
  
Storming out of her room, Lori held her suitcase and glared at her parents. Jess raised an eyebrow as he looked at her choice of attire. A short red, leather skirt and steel toed boots with a black bra and a mesh shirt over it. It exposed Lori's bellybutton ring and the butterfly tattoo she had on her lower abdomen. Her hair was down, which was unusual because she almost always wore it up and she had failed to dye her strands blonde, instead leaving them blue. Rory rolled her eyes and tried not to let how she really felt about Lori's outfit come to the surface. She despised the way Lori dressed, but now was not the time for an argument. Walking out the door she led the way to the car. After only a couple of hours they came upon the 'Welcome to Stars Hollow' sign.  
  
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Luke and Lorelai were excited about Lori staying with them for the summer. She hadn't done that since she was a little girl. Lorelai's son, Nate volunteered his room for Lori and he was just as ecstatic as his parents were about her coming. They hadn't gotten a chance to spend any time together in a couple of years because he was at baseball camp for training. This year, it was held earlier, so he'd be here for their visit and they'd have more than just a weekend to spend together. After what seemed like an eternity, the Mariano's arrived.  
  
"My baby!" Lorelai yelled as Rory stepped out of the car.  
  
"Mommy!" Rory laughed and ran into her mother's arms.  
  
Nate stood and waited for Lori to get out. When she did, all three Dane's mouths dropped open. Lori scowled at them and stalked into the house. Rory sighed and took her mother's hand and pulled her into the house. Jess snapped Luke and Nate out of their temporary shock and all three men followed Lorelai and Rory into the living room.  
  
"Jess and I don't know what to do with her," Rory groaned.  
  
"What exactly happened? When you called, you said Lori wanted to spend the summer with us."  
  
"I know, Mom. I didn't want to tell you over the phone, but this is sort of her punishment," she replied.  
  
"What did she do?" Nate asked.  
  
Rory told them she got drunk at a party, but purposely left out the sex part. No need to tell unneeded information. When she was done, Lorelai shook her head. She couldn't believe her granddaughter could do something like that. Rory wanted desperately to tell her she was pregnant again, but knew it wasn't a good time.  
  
Lori sat in her room with her headphones on and pulled out Oliver Twist. She had read it over and over again, but it was still her favorite book. When she was halfway through, Luke knocked on her door. Her music was on so loud she didn't even hear him, so he cracked it open. The sight before him was like looking into the past. Lori looked just like Jess seventeen years ago, when he first arrived. They had the same angry scowl as they read. Luke stepped into her room and snapped her out of the trans she was in.  
  
"Yes Grandpa Luke?"  
  
"I was just seeing if you were hungry."  
  
"Yeah, actually I am."  
  
Lori swung her legs onto the floor and stood up. Luke and Lori headed to the diner where the rest of the family was already waiting. Once they were there, Lori ignored her parents, but she did talk to Nate some. They caught up, and she was disappointed to find out Nate was a lot like her mom. Granted she loved her mom, but the only thing good about being stuck in Stars Hollow was the fact that her mom wouldn't be there.  
  
"Mom, Luke. Jess and I have something to tell you," Rory said.  
  
"Ooo let me guess!" Lorelai exclaimed. "Um... Jess is going into space!"  
  
Lori rolled her eyes at her grandmother and mentally counted how many more days she'd have to spend in small town hell. Her mother just laughed and then told the joyous news. Lorelai screamed and cried at the news. Lori watched as Luke placed a burger and fries in front of her, and she wanted to gag. There was no way she could eat that! She was on a diet, even though she was skinnier than her mother was at her age. Lori knew that since she was a performer she had to stay thin. Watching the elder generations hug and cry, Lori felt herself getting angry. She was pissed at everyone and everything.  
  
Luke saw her stare at her plate, but never saw her touch her food. That alarmed him. Lori and him had always been close; ever since she was a little girl and he would let her help out in the diner whenever she visited. Lori loved to eat as much as Rory and Lorelai did, and the fact that she didn't touch her food worried him. He knew all three of the girls were always skinny, but Lori had lost weight since her last visit. Rory probably couldn't tell since she saw Lori everyday, but Luke could see her ribs through her see-through top. After a few minutes of eyeing her, he saw Lori push her chair back and stalked out of the diner.  
  
Rory sighed, "She's so mad at me. I feel bad about leaving her here, but it's for the best."  
  
"She'll get used to it, honey. In the meantime, you can enjoy yourself and get ready for my second grandchild!" Lorelai exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. I'm just being paranoid. Lori will be fine."  
  
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The week went by quickly and it was time for Rory and Jess to leave and go home. Lori refused to leave her room and say goodbye, and Rory was very upset about it. Finally, she gave up on trying to coax her out and told Luke, Lorelai, and Nate that they'd be back at the end of the summer to pick her up and in the meantime they would call daily. With one last hug between mother and daughter, Rory climbed into the car and Jess drove them back to New York away from Lori.  
  
All week Luke felt his suspicions about Lori were being proved correct. She pushed her food around her plate, and hardly ate anything at all. She was really thin, and Lori skipped meals as often as she could. Luke could hardly believe Lori was the same little girl he used to read stories to. This Lori was angry, and mean to everyone. He didn't like it, and he wanted her to go back to being his baby girl. Since Rory and Jess left, she had to start work in the diner today.  
  
"Lori, come on. It's time to go to work," Luke called and knocked on her door.  
  
She pulled the door open and pushed by him and stormed to the diner. By the time he reached made it inside Lori was already cleaning tables. Miss Patty and Babette were whispering about her clothing and attitude and how much she had changed. The problem was they never whispered quietly enough. Luke could tell she heard every word they said just by watching Lori. He sighed and took orders for people. When it was time for lunch, Luke gave Lori a burger and onion rings and then tried not to be obvious as he watched her eat.  
  
Lori swore in her head and realized Luke caught on to her not eating. Riley was monitoring her in New York, but he couldn't stop her. She had other ways to get around eating. She picked up the greasy, fattening burger and ate it. That surprised Luke, and Lori was glad this could by her some time before he would let on to her other trick. After she ate half her onion rings, too, she said she was full. Luke took her plat and breathed a sigh of relief. He had just read too much into her skipping meals. It had to be that she was just upset about being sent to Stars Hollow. Lori yelled that she was going on break and jogged to the Gilmore-Danes house. Bolting into the bathroom, she locked the door and stuck her finger down her throat. Bending over the toilet the burger and fries wouldn't give her body any more calories.  
  
Lori flushed the toilet and closed the lid. Dizziness overwhelmed her, so she put her head on the toilet. The next thing she knew she had to throw up again. It was like her stomach couldn't hold the food in. She kept throwing up until there was nothing left to throw up anymore. Flushing the toilet once more, she stood up and brushed her teeth then walked back to the diner hoping her splitting headache would go away.  
  
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Rory and Jess arrived in New York and trudged up the stairs. Rory wanted to cry for so many reasons. Leaving Stars Hollow. Leaving Lori. Leaving Lori in Stars Hollow. Deep down she knew it was for the best, though. Lori had to learn, and with the baby on the way she didn't have the energy or patience to do it. Jess wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her into their apartment. It seemed empty. Vacant. Lori was missing, and it broke her heart.  
  
Rory followed Jess into their bedroom and he pulled out an old copy of Oliver Twist and began reading it to her. She smiled and snuggled against his chest as he read. Her smile turned into a grin as she remembered a particular afternoon on their bridge when she was pregnant with Lori. Jess read to her, and Lori kicked. It was the most wonderful feeling she'd ever experienced. Rory wished she had told Lori about that day. Trying to push Lori out of her thoughts was impossible because she was so worried about her.  
  
"Jess?" she interrupted.  
  
"Yeah," He replied and marked the place they were in the book.  
  
"Do you think Lori's alright? I feel like we don't even know our own daughter."  
  
Jess sighed. He wanted to reassure his wife, but after "the incident," he felt the same way Rory did. What was going on with Lori? When did she get drunk and then arrested! Luckily it would be off her permanent record since she was a juvenile, but it still irked him. He also had the feeling she was still hiding something, but he couldn't place a finger on what it was.  
  
"Jess?" Rory said, snapping him out of his thoughts.  
  
"Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine. How much trouble could she get into in Stars Hollow?"  
  
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Lori finished work at the diner and she knew she had to get out of the hellhole she was in. She started to formulate a plan, and hoped she could pull it off. Later that night, Lori waited until everyone in the house was asleep and she called Logan on her cell phone. She would have called Riley, but he still lived with his parents and they wouldn't appreciate being woken up at three in the morning. After only two rings she heard a voice pick up.  
  
"Hey there!' Logan greeted.  
  
"Logan!" Lori whispered. "It's Lori."  
  
"Beautiful!" he exclaimed. "Why exactly are you calling at this hour?"  
  
"My grandparents are asleep now, and I need your help to get out of here."  
  
"Ooo an escape plan! Tell me!" Logan prodded.  
  
Lori told him her entire plan and he asked the appropriate questions. After twenty minutes, they had the whole thing set up, so they would be able to play at their gig on Saturday. That was only two days away, but their plan was flawless. They bid each other farewell, and Lori climbed into bed and fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Before drifting into an unsatisfactory sleep, she thought about how her energy level had decreased.  
  
Nate stood outside her door in shock by what Lori was planning to do. He shook his head and knew he had to talk to her about changing her mind, but in the end it was her decision. There was no way he would rat her out to his parents. He loved them dearly, but Lori kind of scared him a little bit. She was decisive and very confident about herself and everything. He didn't know it was a mask, though. Behind everything, she was insecure about her body and she starved herself to stay skinny. Her eating problem started when she met Josh... he only liked skinny girls.  
  
_Lori was at a party and she saw a really hot guy staring at her. Walking over to him, she introduced herself and they hit it off. Both were into music, and they had a pleasant debate over their favorite bands, but they still liked the same type of music and they both liked several of the same bands. Exchanging numbers Lori couldn't wait for him to call her.  
  
Soon they were going out, and he casually mentioned something about her jeans getting tighter. That planted a seed in her mind and she went on a diet. She lost a couple of pounds, but Josh didn't think it was enough. He still made the comments on how much skinnier his old girlfriends were. Normally, Lori wouldn't take that shit from anybody, but she loved Josh. That night was the first time she made herself throw up. Afterwards, she could almost hear Josh telling her how beautiful she was. Only, he never did. It never was enough for him.  
_  
A/N: Sooo sooooooo sorry that took so long, but I haven't felt the muse in a long time! ugh. sorry again. I hope you like it. This is actually taking on a different turn than I had originally planned, but I say go wherever it takes you! I'd like to thank by beta, GQSecondAct because she is an absolute sweetheart and helped me sooooooo much with how to make this chapter how I wanted it!!! Please Read and Review!!! 


	4. Late Night Disaster

Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls belongs to ASP, I do own all the characters that I made up. I am willing to lend them out if you want to use them. Just email me first!!!  
  
A/N: Hallo loves!!! Thank you for all your encouragement! It really means a lot to me and I luv to read the reviews!!! It seriously makes me giddy when I read them, and I get this big goofy grin on my face. I'm a dork I know, but please read and review to amuse me!!!  
  
Thanks: To my lovely beta, GQSecondAct!!! She is amazing and is always so encouraging. I love you, babe!!! Check out her story O Citadel Of Love (it's on my favorites list) very classy story!  
  
Chapter 4: Late Night Disaster  
  
Lori sighed as she wiped down a table. This sucked. Not only did she have to work and live in Stars Hollow. She was working in the diner surrounded by food. It disgusted her. Watching all these people stuff their faces all day. Lori hated it, and she hated this job, and she hated the looks all the townspeople gave her. The disappointment shone in their eyes, and she wanted to scream. Grandpa Luke snapped her out of her thoughts.  
  
"I think that table is clean," he told her.  
  
She snapped back to reality and went to a new table. This whole arrangement sucked. Her only glimmer of hope was her plan for that night. Logan was probably filling the guys in on it now. Riley was supposed to pick her up at around midnight and take her back home to play for a gig B.R. found them. It was a big deal and meant a lot of exposure. Riley had a motorcycle, and he was going to park it on the outskirts of town so no one would hear him. Then, he'd drop her off at four in the morning like nothing happened. It was fool proof and it was the only think keeping her from screaming.  
  
Finally, it was time for her lunch break. Lori ran towards the Gilmore House and got in her work out clothes to do a quick kickboxing routine. That was what she did instead of eating everyday. She just told her grandfather she wanted to fix a sandwich, but she really used the time to work out and get rid of any calories she may have absorbed by being around all that food. Then, she ran into the bathroom and made herself throw up before rinsing off in the shower. After brushing her teeth and putting her clothes back on, she was out the door and running back to work.  
  
No one knew her little secret, not even Riley and he was her best friend. They always shared their secrets, but she couldn't tell him this. Luckily, they were rarely around each other during meals, so it was easy to hide from him. Whenever he asked about how much weight she was losing, she would make something up about being on a strict diet and exercise plan. He seemed to believe her, but she wondered if he did know on some level. Shaking the thoughts from her head she got back to work. Only ten more hours until she'd get to see her boys again. Girls couldn't be trusted.  
  
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Luke saw Lori run into the diner completely out of breath. Her mood had not improved over the last few days; if anything, it had gotten worse. She dressed just as provocatively, and he was shocked to see a tattoo on her abdomen. This girl was just as bad as her father was, and he had no idea when it happened. Lori was always a sweet, happy girl who loved to sing and dance. Now, she was a reckless teenager who hated the world. Well, at least Stars Hollow. That made him depressed, and he got back to work. Just then, Nate entered the diner and walked over to Lori.  
  
"Hey, Lori."  
  
"Hi. Do you need something?" Lori snapped.  
  
She didn't mean to. Lori liked Nate, but her stomach was growling and all she could smell was greasy french fries and burgers. She hadn't eaten anything without throwing it up in two days, and it was taking a toll on her. In New York, she could eat a little bit at least, but here Lorelai was feeding her junk food. Her head started to pound the day before and it hadn't stopped, yet. All she felt like doing was crawling under her blankets and sleeping until all the pain went away.  
  
"Yes, actually I do," he snapped back while pulling her aside.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I heard you last night," Nate whispered.  
  
Her breath caught in her throat when she remembered vomiting in the toilet before she went to bed. Nate was just like her mother, and she knew he'd tell Grandma Lorelai or Grandpa Luke. Then, they'd want to help her. She felt everything start to fall apart, but then she thought of a way out. Denial.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Oh don't play dumb with me, Lori. You're planning on going to New York tonight."  
  
Lori inwardly jumped for joy after he said that. Then she stopped when she realized he would tell them that, too. She groaned and waited for what her uncle would tell her. Nate saw her visibly relax, and wondered what she thought he was going to say. What irked him the most was the fact that she relaxed. That meant whatever other secret she was hiding was worse than sneaking out with some guy to go to New York.  
  
"Yeah, well what are you going to do about it?" she asked stepping closer to him and staring up at him with her intense blue eyes.  
  
"I'm not telling Mom or Dad, if that's what you mean. But, I don't think you should do it. You will be caught."  
  
"No, I won't. Because I have a plan." she told him with a smirk.  
  
"A plan, huh. Fine. Whatever. But, just remember that I warned you."  
  
With that he spun on his heel and stalked out of the diner. Lori turned around and saw her grandfather looking at her.  
  
"What was that all about?" he asked her.  
  
"Nothing," she spat back at him and walked over to take someone's order.  
  
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Later that night, Luke brought food home from the diner and Lori almost wanted to cry when she saw it. Even though she knew she'd get rid of it, she still felt guilty about eating it. But, she could watch Grandpa Luke's eyes on her as she ate. He was suspicious of her. Probably even more so because she always went home for lunch where no one could watch her. That and the fact that she'd lost another pound and a half since being in Stars Hollow. She still saw a fat slob in the mirror, though, and living here too long would not make her feel any better about herself.  
  
After dinner, her grandparents settled in front of the TV with a movie and Nate went out with some of his friends, so she decided it would be safe to get rid of dinner. Slowly entering the bathroom, she leaned over the toilet and tied her waist length hair back into a ponytail. Sticking her finger as far down her throat as she could, she started to gag. What she didn't know was Luke was coming down the hallway at that moment to see if she wanted to watch the movie with them. That's when he heard it. The sound of retching coming from the bathroom. That's when everything added up.  
  
He flashed back to when she wouldn't touch her food the first few days. Then, how she all of a sudden started eating, but would mysteriously disappear shortly after meals. Not only that, but how she always ate lunch at home instead of at the diner. Her mood had also gotten worse over the week, and she was getting skinnier. Lori had an eating disorder. There was no other way to tag what was going on. Luke knew he couldn't just confront her, but he wasn't sure if he should tell Lorelai. Sighing, he returned to the living room and didn't pay attention to the rest of the movie.  
  
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Midnight finally arrived and Lori was dressed and ready to go. She was busy reading 'Hamlet,' because she was going through a Shakespeare phase. Just when she was reaching Ophelia's death, she heard a light tapping at her window. Grinning, she put her book aside and opened it up to reveal Riley. She greeted him with a quick peck on the lips and he helped her climb out of the window and drop silently to the ground. Hiding in the shadows, they made their way to the 'Welcome To Stars Hollow' sign.  
  
"You ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah, let's rock," she replied with a grin.  
  
They both mounted the bike and Lori wrapped her arms around Riley's waist. He smiled at the feel of her body pressed against his. Even though they were "just friends" he always had a crush on Lori. He wanted to beat Josh until he screamed in pain, and then he would beat him some more. Josh ruined Lori's spirit, even before they broke up. She didn't think he knew the awful things he used to say to her, but Riley heard him. The demeaning words made her self-esteem go down. He didn't want to interfere in her relationship, but he always hated that guy. Riley didn't have a chance to talk to Lori about the breakup because her parents grounded her and then sent her to nowheresville, USA. (A/N: I took that from Everwood).  
  
Finally they arrived in New York and Lori hopped off the bike. Logan and B.R. ran to the street to meet her and Riley just as she took her helmet off. Her long brown hair fell down and she turned to face her friends.  
  
"My other two boys!" she exclaimed and gave them both kisses and hugs.  
  
After they all greeted each other, they went into the club to set up for their gig. What they didn't know was the other band that was going to play wasn't just any band. It was Lori's Aunt Lane's band. Living in sweet ignorance, Lori began to get ready for their performance. She knew they were opening for a very popular band, but she didn't know who they were. All she wanted was to play her best. She took a deep breath and tried to keep her mind off the hammering in her head. It still hadn't gone away, and she was having trouble paying attention. Everything faded away, though, when she heard a male voice announce them.  
  
"Alright everyone! Put your hands together for 'Where For Art Thou!'"  
  
They came to the mike and she began to play the chords she had been trained to play, and Riley started to sing. Lane watched in confusion as their band played. She remembered Rory telling her that Lori was spending the rest of the summer in Stars Hollow. Being the concerned aunt she was, she picked up her cell phone and called Rory and Jess.  
  
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Rory and Jess were sound asleep at two in the morning when a ringing disturbed Rory's sleep. Jess was somehow sleeping through it, so she rolled over and picked the phone off of its cradle.  
  
"Hello," she greeted, sleepily.  
  
"Hey Ror, it's Lane."  
  
"Hi Lane! What's going on?" she asked.  
  
"Well," Lane said. "I'm about to play at this new club downtown, and Lori's band is playing."  
  
"Oh, did they get a guitar replacement?" Rory asked, knowing how much it would upset Lori if they did.  
  
"Not exactly. Lori's playing with them," Lane told her, now knowing she wasn't supposed to be there.  
  
"What are you talking about. Lori's in Stars Hollow," Rory explained, suddenly wide awake.  
  
"No she's not. She's singing right now. I do have to say that she has a beautiful voice," Lane told her, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
Rory sighed, "Give us the address. I'll call my Mom."  
  
Lane told her and the two of them hung up. Waking Jess up wasn't very hard; he asked her if everything was okay with the baby. She put his fears to rest and explained what was going on. Jess shook his head after Rory told him, and he told Rory to stay there since she was pregnant. It wasn't healthy for her to be around cigarette smoke, which was why he gave up smoking sixteen years ago. He got into the car and drove to the nightclub to get Lori. The ride over there felt like deja vu.  
  
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Back in Stars Hollow, Luke, Lorelai, and Nate were sound asleep when the phone rang. Lorelai rolled over and put her pillow over her head. Luke was awake, too, and since Lorelai wasn't making any move to answer the phone he had to pick it up.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Luke," Rory sighed. "Can I talk to Mom?"  
  
"Yeah, is everything okay with the baby?" he asked.  
  
Rory had to smile at how much Jess was like Luke. Jess always denied it, but in instances like these she really saw how alike they really were. Both of them were protective over the ones they loved. She quickly said everything was okay, but she wanted to talk to her mother. Luke forced Lorelai to get up and handed her the phone.  
  
"Whoever the hell is calling at this God awful hour should die," she said.  
  
"I love you, too, Mommy."  
  
"Oh, my baby. What's going on?"  
  
"Well, it seems Lori is in New York," Rory told her.  
  
"What?!" Lorelai shouted. "She can't be in New Y... how do you know?"  
  
"Lane called. She saw her playing at a club with her band. I'm thinking they had something to do with this."  
  
Lorelai sighed, "I'm really sorry, hon."  
  
"Me, too. I think it's time to confront Lori. Can you come to New York?"  
  
"Sure, babe. Don't worry about a thing. We'll be there as soon as we can."  
  
They hung up and Lorelai turned to Luke. The look in her eyes made him know he had to tell her about Lori's "other problem." It was time everything became out in the open and so Lori could get some help. It made him sad to think about what could have made Lori think she needed to get so desperate about losing weight. Sighing, he got out of bed and started to put his clothes on. This was going to be a long night.  
  
A/N: Well, I'm proud of myself!!! I wrote for two straight hours, then ate dinner and then got right back to writing. I did procrastinate at the beginning, but then I just sat down and wrote it!!! Yay! Please review me!!! 


	5. A New Voice

**Disclaimer:** Not Mine! It doesn't belong to me! I own NOTHING! How many different ways can I say it? I count 42, which is the answer to all questions! (Read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy to understand that!)  
  
**A/N:** Hallo my friends! I hope ur as excited about this chapter as I am! The big confrontation! Hehe, I'm starting to get an idea of how this story is going to go, but I don't know for sure so I still need ur input!  
  
**Thanks:** To my lovely beta, Molly (GQSecondAct)! She is sooo supportive and kind! Luv ya, doll! And of course to my consistent reviewers!  
  
**Chapter 5:** A New Voice  
  
Jess sighed as he opened the door to the club and saw his daughter singing to a crowd of drunken losers. He really got creeped out when he heard a couple of them talking about how hot she was. Jess took a deep breath and mentally restrained himself from attacking the guys and beating them to death. He decided to focus on getting Lori home safely and pushed through the sea of people. Finally he made his way to the front just as Lori belted out in a voice that he didn't even know she had! It shocked him for a second, and he listened to his little girl sing about suffering and pain in her strange new voice. That scared him, because he knew she wrote her own songs.  
  
When it was over, the band thanked the audience and Lori went backstage. Jess knew that was the time to go get her, but he was stopped by a security guard. He yelled at the guy, saying his daughter was back there, but the huge man wouldn't let him past. Sighing, clearly aggravated, he calmed down and attempted to explain the situation. The man still wouldn't budge, so Jess clenched his fist to fight. Luckily, Lane ran over before Jess could do something that he might regret.  
  
"Sid, it's okay. He's with me," she told the gargoyle.  
  
Saying nothing, he stepped aside and Jess hurried backstage to find his daughter. At first, he was afraid the asshole had made him be too late. Then, he looked in a corner and saw Lori sitting in a chair with her hands on her head. Her long hair hung in front of her face like a curtain and it shielded her from his view. He slowly made his way towards her; Jess was careful not to make a sound because he was afraid she might bolt. These days, he didn't know what she would do.  
  
After Lori stepped off the stage her head started to swim. She figured it was because of the adrenaline rush. Performing was the only time anyone really listened to the way she felt. It was the only time her true feelings could shine through. Feelings of pain and anger at everyone for making her hate herself so much. Taking deep breaths she focused on calming down, but it wasn't doing any good. Suddenly, a wave of dizziness washed over her body, and she grabbed onto the wall next to her for support. Swaying, she closed her eyes and continued to breathe slow, deep breaths. Then, she cracked her eyes open and saw a chair only a few steps away. It could have been miles away, though. Moving at all seemed like too big of a task for her to accomplish, so she just stood there.  
  
After a couple of minutes, she felt like she was going to fall. A shudder passed through her body and she reached for the chair as she fell. It felt like she was falling in slow motion, like the world stopped as she stumbled towards the chair with her hands outstretched and reaching. That was how she felt most of the time; like she was blindly reaching for something, but never actually got there. Then she grasped on to something as her body began to shake. With an unknown strength, she managed to pull herself onto the chair and she tried to focus on not passing out. That was the goal. Not to pass out. Then she heard his voice.  
  
"Lori."  
  
She inwardly cringed when she heard her name. Disappointment dripped from every syllable and she felt like she was about to throw up. Her dizziness had gotten worse, and now the room was spinning rapidly. She was breaking into a cold sweat, but she had no idea why. This was the worse she'd ever felt, and she wanted to fall into her Daddy's arms and cry until she had no more tears left to cry. Pushing that thought aside, she looked up at him and tried not to look like she felt.  
  
Jess bit his lip when he saw her. She looked strange. It was like when he heard her singing. Not only did she have a new voice, but she had a new face, too. It was surreal, and he felt himself trying to swallow, only to find out his mouth was parched. Water. He needed water. Instead, he looked down at his little girl, who now looked like a woman and bit his lip.  
  
"Let's go," he told her trying to sound parental, but failing miserably.  
  
Without a protest, she heaved herself out of the chair, almost falling onto her butt as she did so. Again, her arms reached outwards, but she snapped them back down. She would not walk blindly anymore. She was Lorelai Gilmore Mariano, and she was going to walk with her head high if it killed her. Slowly, they trudged towards the car. Each step was heavy and weighted down, and not just by her steel toed boots. It was as if the floor had magnets in it, and it was keeping each foot locked in place. She used all of her might to lift her foot up, and began to breathe heavily as the journey stretched out before her.  
  
Jess knew something wasn't right. Lori was acting weird, and not "Gilmore weird," but a different kind. His heart ached as they slowly walked to the car, and every bone in his body told him there was something else wrong with Lori. She was hiding something, and it wasn't anything good. He could hear her labored breaths, and when he glanced back her face looked pale. It could be that she was just scared, but the pesky little voice in his head told him it was something else. It was something big.  
  
--------  
  
Luke and Lorelai drove in the pitch-black night to the Mariano's apartment. Nate opted to stay at home, since it did seem to be more of an adult matter. They drove in silence, each wrapped up in their own thoughts and fighting their own personal demons. No one had to say a word to break the quiet of the cool night air. They both knew what the other was thinking...well, thought they knew what the other was thinking. Lorelai had no idea that Lori had an eating disorder.  
  
Luke struggled to decide whether or not to tell Lorelai, or to wait and confront Lori alone about it. On one hand, Lorelai could tell him that he was being ridiculous and he had no real proof about it. That seemed most likely. He loved his wife dearly, but she could force herself into denial about the ones she loved. But, on another hand, Lorelai could listen to him and agree with what he said. Then, they could figure this thing out together. That's what he wished would happen. On another hand, he could hold off and just tell everyone at once about her eating disorder and wait for Lori's response. On another...Luke stopped right there when he realized he already had three hands and just shook all bad thoughts from his head.  
  
Meanwhile, Lorelai was wrapped in her own thoughts about what could have made Lori so angry. She was always such a sweet girl and she loved to visit her grandparents. Lorelai smiled when she thought about all the fun that they used to have at the Dragonfly when she was little, and how she used to help Luke out at the diner, and he would pay her in coffee. Now, she was different, and Lorelai didn't know how, when, or why it happened! Wrapped up in her own thoughts, she almost didn't hear Luke. "Lorelai?"  
  
When she didn't respond he tried again, "Lorelai?"  
  
"Huh," she replied, absently.  
  
"I have something to tell you, but you can't freak out."  
  
"O...kay," she replied slowly.  
  
Taking a deep breath he began, "Uh, Lori has an eating disorder."  
  
Lorelai froze when he said that. She ran every moment Lori had stayed with them through her mind in fast forward. She searched for some proof that he was lying. But all she came up with was the fact that Lori picked at her food the first few days, and then she started eating well but disappeared after every meal. Also, there was her mysterious weight loss from the last time she visited. A shudder went through Lorelai when she realized he was right.  
  
"Oh my God, how did I not see it?"  
  
Luke didn't reply, but just took her hand in his as they pulled into the parking lot and got ready to face Lori.  
  
--------  
  
Lori inhaled deeply as she began the impossible task of climbing the stairs to their apartment. She passed Grandpa Luke's truck on her way to the stairway, and the image blurred into her mind. Her thoughts jumbled as she grabbed onto the handrail to ascend to the top. She felt like she was dying, but she pretended to be fine so her Dad wouldn't find out. Not that there was anything to find out. Lori knew she was fine. There was nothing wrong. Everything would be okay, as long as she didn't fall down the stairs- an undertaking that was getting harder and harder to do.  
  
Jess walked behind Lori, and noticed how slow she was walking. Each one of her steps was labored and seemed difficult to make. Granted she had huge boots, but he'd never seen her have this much trouble before. She was starting to freak him out a little, especially when she stopped halfway up and seemed to sway towards the handrail. He was about to lunge forward and catch her, but she continued to climb. After what seemed to be an eternity for both of them, they made it to the top. Jess opened the door, and ushered her inside.  
  
Rory sat on a couch with a glass of milk in her hand. Luke and Lorelai sat next to her, and their faces reminded her of a stone statue. Those were just fleeting thoughts to her, though and she slowly slogged towards her mother and grandparents. Jess joined them, and she sat on a chair across from all four of them. Her mother wouldn't look her in the eye, and continued to nurse the glass of milk. Behind the four of them, Lori looked at the painting they had hanging on the wall. The painting was about a poem; she couldn't remember the title but she did remember the general story line.  
  
It was about a girl who was locked in a tower of a castle and a mirror was given to her, so she could look into the outside world. A spell was cast over her, and if she ever left the castle she would die. Lori recalled when she looked into the mirror one day; she saw a young prince or duke in it. She fell in love with him, and decided that she would rather see him than live in her tower forever. So, she left the tower and got into her canoe and began to go towards her love's castle. But, before she got there she died from the curse. As she drifted, the nobleman came across her canoe and looked at the dead girl. He said she had a pretty face.  
  
Lori didn't know why she was thinking about this, but as she stared at the painting she felt like the girl. She loved Josh with all her heart, and she was dying without him. Tears threatened to fall, but she held them at bay for now. Then, her mother spoke and she came partially out of her trance.  
  
"Lori, why did you leave Stars Hollow? What's going on with you?"  
  
Lori sighed, and her voice cracked as she spoke, "Nothing. I wanted to play, so I left with my boys. I was going to be back before Grandpa Luke woke up."  
  
"That's not the point!" Rory yelled. "God, I can't talk to you right now!"  
  
She stopped talking and continued to drink her milk, trying to calm her stomach. Grandpa Luke and Grandma Lorelai kept looking each other, and doing the creepy thing where they talk to each other without talking. Lori could feel reality slipping away and she began to feel clostrophobic; her breathing was becoming labored again. Suddenly she felt very cold, and she tried to speak but couldn't.  
  
"I actually have something to say," Luke finally spoke up. "Lori, sweetie, I love you, but you need help."  
  
Lori found her voice after that. "What? I don't need help! I'm fine!"  
  
Jess and Rory looked at him, clearly confused.  
  
"What are you talking about, exactly?" Jess asked, with a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.  
  
"Lori has an eating disorder," Luke said. "That's why she's lost so much weight." Rory and Jess stared at him in disbelief. Suddenly, everything made sense, though. Her extreme mood swings, rapid weight loss, and sudden loss of appetite. Rory thought she was going to be sick as she looked at her baby girl and realized that she needed help. Jess lapsed into silence and stared blankly at Lori. Meanwhile, Lori began to feel her world slipping from her grasp. Her breathing became more erratic and she started losing logical thoughts as she looked at her family. They betrayed her.  
  
She stared at them all and began feeling like everyone was against her. That's what this was. They were all doing this to tell her that she wasn't worthy of being in their family. There was no problem. She had no problem with food. Not wanting to be fat doesn't mean she has a disorder. She stood up quickly, but immediately regretted the decision. What the hell was wrong with her? She could barely even talk! It was them! They did this to her! They drove her to this! To what? There was nothing wrong!  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?!" she screeched. "Nothing is wrong with me! I don't have an eating disorder! That's insane."  
  
"Lori, honey, I've been watching you. Stop lying to yourself," Luke said and reached for her.  
  
Lori began to shake her head, as she tried to clear the haze that was starting to overcome her. She began feeling the dizziness returning and she tried to make the room stop spinning. Her damn arms instinctively went out again. Reaching for something. Anything really. She hated doing that: her arms trying to grasp for something just out of reach. She wanted it all to stop. She wanted this all to be over with, so they wouldn't be against her. Everyone was against her.  
  
Jess watched Lori grabbing at some invisible piece of furniture as her eyes began to blink quickly. He saw his little girl, who wasn't a little girl anymore, fall to the floor. It was shocking to watch her just fall forward, and he rushed to her side after only a moment's hesitation. Someone went to call 911, but he just held his little girl thinking about how he could have missed something of this magnitude. Then he knew.  
  
It was because he never listened to her new voice.  
  
**A/N:** Did u like it? Did u hate it? Tell me what u think... pleez! ur reviews mean everything to me and I enjoy reading them! 


	6. Hospitals And Late Night Visits

**Disclaimer:** If Gilmore Girls really belonged to me, Rory would have gone with Jess when he came to her dorm room. sigh if only...

**A/N:** Hallo luvs! So so so sorry this has taken forever!!! My beta went out of town (not her fault) and so I decided to focus only on my trory. I wrote three chapters of that one, but have been seriously neglecting this story. There are other reasons as well, which you can read on my profile if you desire. Pleez don't stone me ;)

**Thanx:** To everyone who has reviewed this story. I couldn't do it without you, and I love you all. A special thank you goes out to my beta, dear sweet Molly (GQSecondAct)! READ HER STORIES!!!

**Chapter 6:** Hospitals And Late Night Visits

Jess hated hospitals. They were too clean and white. Everything was white. And the smell. Sterile. Too sterile and white. It hurt his eyes, and he was starting to get a headache. Rory was staring straight ahead, and hadn't spoken since 'it' happened. She just gaped at nothingness. It was driving Jess crazy.

He knew this kind of stress was too much for her body to deal with, but in his heart Jess knew he couldn't handle this alone. This! He couldn't even bring himself to think what was going on. The full seriousness of the situation hadn't hit him, yet. All he could think about was his baby girl's face before she collapsed. Lori was gasping for air, and all the color drained from her features. Then she fell. Jess watched the scene over and over in his head and couldn't even begin to comprehend why this had happened. Why had she done this?

"_Daddy! Read me Oliver Twist," Lori begged her father._

_She was only eight years old, but she loved to read with the same passion that both Jess and Rory had. Jess grinned at the beautiful blue-eyed girl and stood up to retrieve said book. When he returned, Lori was already sitting on the couch wearing her father's old Metallica T-shirt as a nightgown. He shook his head and sat beside her, while opening the book to the beginning. He started to read, but Lori stopped him as she snuggled closer to him._

"_Daddy, I love you."_

"_I love you, too, Dodger."_

Jess angrily hit his fist against his wall, and decided he had to have answers. Someone had to pay, and he knew that Riley would probably know what was going on. He was Lori's best friend, and they spent almost every waking hour together when she lived at home. He had to have seen something, unless he was in just as much denial as Jess was.

"Rory," he said softly, as he put his hand on her shoulder.

She didn't move her eyes from the fixed spot on the wall, but she did answer.

"Yes?"

"I'm going out for some air, okay?"

She didn't say nor do anything in response, so he leaned over and kissed her cheek while murmuring his love for her. Quickly, he left the hospital and ran to his car. With a shaking hand, he unlocked the door and pulled it open. As he sat in the driver's seat he thought about how much Lori was like him. They both had the same "rebel-without-a-cause-I-don't-give-a-damn" attitude, and look where that got him. He was shipped off to Luke's, but he found Rory there and she saved him. Jess thought about what possibly could have happened to Lori as he drove towards Riley's place.

Incessant beeping was the sound Lori awoke to. Her head felt like someone had been hitting her with a two-by-four all night, and she was having problems focusing on anything. Her vision kept blurring, but she was still aware of her surroundings. Lori knew she was lying on a bed. She could feel the crisp sheets over her, but the problem was she couldn't remember how she got there. Her mouth was parched and she didn't have enough spit to swallow. That beeping was starting to get on her nerves.

She tried to remember the last thing that happened, but all she remembered was being angry. Very angry. Then... it hurt her head to think, so she closed her eyes to try and block everything out. A woman's voice floated through the hazy place before sleep that Lori found herself in.

"Ms. Mariano? Are you awake, dear?"

Lori tried to answer, but all that came out was a squeaky groan. The woman smiled and brought a cup of liquid over to her.

"Here, drink this. I'm sure you're very thirsty."

Lori took the glass and tried to drink it while she was lying down. Unfortunately, some water went up her nose, so she sputtered and choked. The nurse took the glass from her and left the room, much to Lori's delight. She was in no mood to talk to anyone. All she wanted to do was curl up and die in peace. Her body ached and her head started feeling heavy. A doctor entered the room at that moment and she cracked her eyes open.

"What happened?" she asked in a sedated voice.

"You collapsed. You're parents and grandparents called an ambulance, and it's a good thing they did."

"Oh, I don't want to see them."

He sighed, "Well, you don't have to right now, but you will have too eventually. I'm actually about to go out and speak with them. Why don't you get some rest."

She nodded, but groaned as her head began to throb due to the action. She felt hung over, but couldn't remember drinking anything. She did remember throwing up, but she didn't know if that was because she was drunk, or the other thing. Lori decided that she didn't care and fell into a deep slumber where she didn't have to think about the mess her life had become.

Jess stood outside of Riley's door and began to knock. The door swung open, and the half-asleep teen stood on the other end, suddenly wide awake as he stared at Jess. Jess was confused about why he was nervous until he remembered that Riley helped Lori sneak out of Stars Hollow. Jess almost laughed at how that didn't seem to matter anymore. If that was the only thing wrong now, he would jump for joy. In reality, his daughter was lying in a hospital bed after starving herself.

"Hi Jess."

"Riley, I'm here about Lori. I'm not even going to talk about what you did tonight because I don't give a damn about it anymore."

"What? Why?" Riley asked him as he let Jess come into his apartment.

"Lori's in the hospital."

"What!? She was fine earlier! What the hell happened?" Riley yelled in fear and shock.

"I know, but apparently she has an eating disorder. Obviously you don't know anything about it. I thought you might, but it seems that she had us all fooled."

"Oh no. I never thought it was this bad..." Riley started.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I knew she was dieting, but I had no idea it was like this. She's been miserable since Josh cheated on her, you know. But, I think this started before that whole thing."

"What do you mean before?"

"Well," Riley said, uncomfortably. "I was around them a lot more than you were, and I got the feeling he wanted her thinner."

After Jess gave him a puzzled look, he continued, "I don't know for sure, but it's just little comments he made about her eating habits. It struck me as odd, and after he brought it up a couple of times Lori stopped eating as much junk food."

Jess' brown eyes darkened, and he felt rage building up inside of him. This whole fucking thing was about a guy! That little dickhead was going to pay for what he did to Lori! Jess knew what he had to do, so he told Riley he had to go.

"Wait, call me when you know anything about Lori, okay?"

Jess nodded as he ran out the door and towards his car. He needed to pay Josh a little visit. This was going to be a long night. Before he left, though, he knew he should call Lorelai and tell her he wouldn't be back for a little while. After hanging up the phone, he gripped the steering wheel and sped towards Josh's apartment to kill the little bastard.

Rory felt lost. The moment they wheeled her unconscious little girl through the huge double doors was one of the worst moments she'd ever experienced. She wanted to be there with her, to hold her hand and promise that everything would be okay. Instead, the nurse restrained her until Jess came and guided her over to a chair. That was where she had been since.

"_Hey, Mommy," Lorelai whispered with a grin. "How would you like to hold your daughter?"_

_Rory held out her shaky hands as Lorelai handed her the little girl. She started crying again, and Rory just said, "I know, baby girl. I know." Then, she rocked her gently until she stopped. _

Rory almost cried as memories of Lori's birth flooded her memory. She placed a hand on her stomach and wanted to scream and cry. This would all happen again someday with the next one. She'd feel the same loss and hurt that she was feeling right now, but she knew it would all be okay. It had to be okay. A tear slowly slid down her cheek just as a doctor approached the group.

"Are you the Mariano group?"

"Yes," Rory told him, standing up. "Is she okay? What's going on?"

"Well, Lorelai woke up for a few minutes which is definitely a good sign, but she is dangerously malnourished and will have to take certain vitamins intravenously."

"But she hadn't lost that much weight," Rory said in surprise.

"Yes, but since she hadn't been eating that much she was missing some key vitamins and that was what caused her to faint. If there are no further complications, she should be able to leave in a week."

"Thank you," Rory said, with a sigh of relief. "Can I see her?"

"Let's wait a little while," he told her, wanting to obey the wishes of the young woman. She already had a lot to deal with, and he didn't think it would be the best idea. "Maybe you should go home and rest. Tomorrow you can visit her. Don't worry, she's fine. Just keep a closer eye on her for the next few months."

"I will, thank you."

Rory fell into a chair and let tears of relief and pent up anxiety stream down her face. She thanked every higher power for allowing her to keep her first-born child safe. The next few months would be tough on everyone, but at least now she knew about the problem.

Josh lay in bed with two naked girls on either side of him. Life was good. He was 24 years old and could get all the ass he wanted. Most girls begged him for sex. Josh loved his life at that particular moment. He rolled over to spoon with one of the girls when he heard a banging at his door. Groaning, he got out of bed and put some boxers on to see who it was.

"Hey what do you..." he began as he pulled the door open.

Before he could finish his sentence, Jess decked him in the face. Josh stumbled backwards and grabbed his nose as blood gushed out of it. Jess' eyes flashed with hatred and anger for this asshole, which was increased even more when he realized that this guy was much older than Lori had told him. How dare this jackass take advantage of his 16-year-old daughter?

"How old are you?" Jess asked him in a low voice.

"What the hell does that have to do with the fact that you just sucker punched me?!" Josh exclaimed in confusion.

"I asked you a question."

"I'm 24, God! Who the hell are you!?"

"I'm someone you will wish you didn't piss off," Jess replied as he punched him again.

Then, Jess picked Josh up from the floor and pushed him up against a wall. Josh stared at him in confusion and shock as blood poured down his chin. The droplets dripped onto his chest and the floor, but Jess didn't even notice.

"What the hell did you say to Lori?" he asked the boy in a threatening manner.

"God, this is about that whore!" he exclaimed just as Jess' fist connected with his eye.

He didn't say anything else as he hit him again. Once the guy was on the floor, Jess began kicking him while muttering obscenities. Jess felt the same kind of anger that he had as a teenager, and he didn't know how to control it. He could almost hear Rory's voice begging him to stop, though, and he knew he had to listen to it. His foot paused in mid-kick and he looked down at the asshole that had made his daughter think she wasn't beautiful.

"Listen to me," he said, hoarsely. "You stay the hell away from Lori. Do you understand me? If I hear you even looked at her funny, I will hunt you down."

After he said that, he spun around and left the apartment. Once he got to his car, he realized he had a voice mail. It was Luke telling him that Lori was okay and that everyone was going home because they weren't allowed to see her, yet. Jess never cried, but when he heard the news, he couldn't keep a couple of tears from escaping. He sniffled and wiped them away, quickly and drove home.

**A/N:** Yay! I'm sooo glad I finished this chapter cuz I've been looking forward to writing it!!! Please Please Please Review!!!


	7. What Could Have Been

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls, despite the rumors. No... wait stop! Please literati's don't kill me! I said I don't own Gilmore Girls AHHHH!!!

**A/N:** Hello peeps! I am back again with the next installment! I was happy to see all the positive reviews the last chapter created, and I'm happy ur all enjoying this story. I'm going to try to get a chapter out every couple of weeks, but NO promises. Read my profile for more info!

**Thanx:** Thanks to my wonderful lit beta, Molly (GQSecondAct). Not only is she frank and full of inspiration, but she's also a classy writer and I'm in love with her story O Citadel of Love. SO CHECK IT OUT!!! Also, thanx to my reviewers! I couldn't do it without u guys!

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**Chapter 7:** What Could Have Been

Rory sat in an incredibly uncomfortable chair with her eyes fixed on her sleeping daughter. Lori's usual beautiful long hair looked stringy and unhealthy as it lay around her head like a dark halo. Her skin was as pale as death and her lips had no color in them. Her eyes were closed, but Rory could see her dark eyeliner smeared below her eyelids, which added to her zombie-like appearance. She wore a hospital gown, and Rory could see almost every bone in her body. She had to have lost ten pounds since she had been in Stars Hollow.

Rory reached over and took one of her daughter's cold, delicate hands in her own. Her black fingernails stood out against the pasty skin and Rory wanted nothing more than to scrape all the nail polish off. What had her daughter become? Memories of sweet little Lori rushed into her head, even though for the past day she had been willing them to go away. This time, she let them come in. Her first day of school, and all of the fieldtrips...Junior High...Lori's first crush...her first day of high school...It seemed as if Rory remembered every moment of her daughter's life, but she knew something had to have been missing. If she knew every moment and every detail of Lori's life, then she wouldn't be sitting in this uncomfortable chair staring at her scrawny daughter's lifeless form.

--------

That was the scene Jess walked into. His pregnant wife holding their daughter's hand with silent tears sliding down her face. He hadn't told Rory about Josh because he didn't want to upset her. She hadn't even asked about his bruised knuckles or where he had gone for two hours the night before. Somehow, she knew what happened. Jess pulled another hard chair towards his wife and sat down next to her.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied, then with a smile looked at her husband. "I guess were back to one-syllable responses, then."

With a weak smile, Jess nodded and wrapped his arm around Rory. Leaning her head against his shoulder she let out a breath of air. It sounded like she had been holding the breath in since they watched their first child fall to the ground. Jess knew he'd never forget that image as long as he lived: the look of anguish on her face as she stumbled to grasp something that didn't exist. In his mind, that thing would always be him. Somehow, this must have been his fault. The weight of his family seemed to be on his shoulders and he let them down. He promised Rory she could count on him when they tried to escape their lives. Then, they found out about Lori.

She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but he would always wonder what could have been had she never existed. Whether or not he and Rory would have gone off again, or if they would have stayed, or even if they had broken up and went their separate ways. The last scenario made him shudder, and he held Rory's trembling frame closer to him.

"Remember when we left Stars Hollow?" he asked her.

Rory gave a meek laugh, "How could I ever forget?"

"Do you ever think about what could have happened if we never got into the car accident? Or if we never..."

"Sometimes," Rory admitted.

"Me too."

"But," Rory continued. "Then, I think about where we are now, and I know I wouldn't trade it in for the world."

"Yeah, I wouldn't either, but I just wonder sometimes."

"I know. I like to remember that time, too. Anytime I'm overwhelmed at work, I think about that little cafe and I remember how carefree we were. Think about it. We were two stupid teenagers that wanted to have the whole world belong to us."

"I remember that. I don't think I ever told you what happened in Chicago, did I?"

"No, you never did. But that's okay. Save it for another time."

Jess nodded and his gaze went to his daughter as she stirred in her sleep, and her big blue eyes opened and focused on the ceiling.

--------

Lori began to hear speaking as she woke up. With her eyes closed, she tried to figure out whom it was speaking. They were saying something about leaving Stars Hollow. Then, she heard her mother's sweet voice and knew it was her parents. Their voices cut through the haze she had been in over the last few days, but she didn't understand what they were saying. They spoke of what could have happened, and then they were saying something about her. The whole thing made her head spin, so she opened her eyes and stared at the white ceiling.

"Lori," her mother said as she stood up and leaned over the bed.

"Mom," she croaked, and quickly cleared her throat.

"Hey, Dodger. How are you feeling?"

"Dad," her slightly raspy voice said.

"Yeah, honey. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Lori looked at her mother's eager face and at the crisp white room. She felt her head getting heavy and her stomach did a flip-flop. She could see a small bucket next to her bed and grabbed it as she threw up the liquid in her stomach. Rory called for a nurse, and one soon arrived. Once Lori was finished, she didn't feel any better. She fell back onto her pillow and moaned as her head began to pulsate in pain.

"Is this normal?" Jess asked the nurse in a low voice.

Lori couldn't hear what the nurse replied because she began feeling the world spinning on its axis. If the logical part of her brain was working, it would have told her you can't feel the earth move, but that part had already shut down. In a minute, the other part of her brain shut down, too, and she was left in blissful unconsciousness.

"Why did she pass out, again?" Rory asked in a shrill voice.

The nurse told her everything would be okay, but Rory felt fear like she never had experienced in her life. Her stomach began to churn and in a moment she was running towards the bathroom. Hanging her head over the toilet, she vomited; Rory had no idea how she had anything at all in her stomach to throw up because she had barely eaten anything. Deciding it was the stress, she knew she needed to go for a walk. By the time she exited the restroom and entered the main corridor, Jess was already there waiting.

"I would have gone in there, but the bathroom was labeled 'Women'. Since I really don't want to get slapped today, I thought it would be best if I waited out here."

Rory smiled at his attempt at humor and gave him a hug. "I'm okay, I just need to go for a walk, okay?You stay with Lori."

"Are you sure you don't want any company?"

"I'm actually going to go talk to my mom."

"Oh, okay. I'll go back and see how Lori's doing."

"I love you," she told him, quietly.

"I love you, too."

They parted for the time being, but they knew the worst was yet to come. Lori getting better. Then, they would have to rely on each other to make sure she didn't relapse. Long talks were in everybody's future, and Jess knew he'd find some things out about Lori that he wished he didn't. Anything to do with boys and sex was all Rory, but one thing their family had to start doing was handling things together.

--------

Rory entered the waiting room and saw her mother and Luke sitting on a couch flipping through their respective magazines. Lorelai looked up when she sensed her daughter's presence. That was the way they were. No words were necessary; they just knew in an instant that something wasn't right. Lorelai knew the entire summer they backpacked around Europe, all those years ago, that Rory was upset about Jess, even though she didn't say it. Right now, Lorelai empathized with her daughter. She remembered how difficult it was to watch her own daughter lying in a hospital bed.

Rory was grateful when Lorelai stood up and put her arm around her. They walked around the halls without a word and then saw a small garden through a pair of glass doors. Rory opened the right side and the two women walked into the night air. The smell of the hospital vanished the second the door closed behind them. Rory took a lungful of fresh air in and let it out slowly.

"She's so skinny," Rory said quietly. "She's always been thin. But not like this. There's nothing left of her."

Lorelai was silent as Rory continued. "It's so hard to just watch her, and know that I can't do anything about this! Something happened to my baby girl, and Jess knows. I know he knows and I want him to tell me but... if he hasn't told me, yet, it must be bad. Jess only keeps the worst things away from me."

"Maybe it's not one of the "worst" things. Maybe it's just normal bad, but because you're pregnant he doesn't want to worry you even with normal bad."

Rory looked at her mother in a way that would break a stranger's heart and replied, "If it was normal bad, my daughter wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed with her ribs protruding through her skin."

Lorelai wrapped her arms around her daughter and tried to take all her troubles away. She listened to her own baby cry, and identified with the kind of pain she was going through. Before Rory woke up after the car accident, she and Luke traded places looking in on Rory. She remembered the relief she felt when Luke told her Rory had woken up for a moment. Those few days were the worst ones she'd experienced in her entire life, and she felt physically sick when she thought about Rory going through the same thing.

Some people say, 'What goes around, comes around', but Lorelai wouldn't have wished this on anybody. Rory was in so much pain that it contorted her face. She felt her daughter shake with sobs and she knew all she could do was hold on tight. This roller coaster would end someday, and then life would get good again. In the meantime, they just had to muddle their way through the horrible.

--------

Jess sighed as he walked back into Lori's room. He saw that the nurse had left and Lori was alone. Walking over to her bedside, he sat down on the edge and really looked at her for the first time. He had been trying to avoid looking at her bony, exposed shoulder and the way her gaunt face had become expressionless and ashen. He took the same hand Rory had been holding earlier and tried to warm the icy skin. Then, he saw her eyelids flutter open and their eyes connected. Before Lori could look away he spoke.

"Do you remember the time you asked me why I called you Dodger?"

"Yes," she said in a barely audible whisper.

"Well, It's time I told you. From the beginning."

And he did. He told about meeting her mother in her bedroom, about loving her even though he was screwed up. He told her about leaving Stars Hollow, and then coming back for her mom. The glorious time they traveled the country together...about the car accident...and about the day he read Oliver Twist to her mother on the bridge, and how he felt Lori kick and knew he was worth something. He told her everything for the first time, and she laid on the crisp white sheets and listened to him. All her life, she had been given half-truths to everything. But Jess explained everything to her. For the first time, she saw her parents as they were: two silly teenagers in love who just wanted to be free. He told her anecdotes about her mother, with her nose always in a book - and even some about him.

Lori stared at him in disbelief when he finished by relaying the news about her mother having a miscarriage. Everything was out in the open, then, and she finally knew the history of her parents' lives together. Granted, she never thought she'd ever hear her father tell it. Like a lightening bolt, it hit her - her father's books. Well, after the first one. They were about her parents. In each book, there were characters that she'd come to love and she just realized those characters must have represented a different time in her parent's lives. Her father's first book was about a man who hated the world, and it always made her cringe when she read it. Now, she knew that the man was her father as a young teenager living in New York.

She couldn't fathom how her father could ever be that angry. He always seemed to be alright. His next book was about a young girl who was quiet on the outside, but who really just needed someone to bring her out of her shell. Jess' third book was about a love-crazed couple who grew up completely different. The book he was working on now was about a mature couple whose outlooks on life had drastically changed over the years. This was the first time she really thought about how each book was a different stage of their lives and she couldn't believe she had never seen that before. Each of the characters had a different storyline than their lives, but the characters were the same people who had raised her.

"Wow."

"Yeah. Now you know everything. Well, except for a few minor details about your mother and I that I thought best to leave out."

"Ew," Lori said at the innuendo, and smiled.

Jess' heart soared when he saw that small sign that his daughter was still in there somewhere. Unfortunately, it soon fell from her face, and her lips were drawn in a thin line. He was glad that he had finally told Lori the truth, though. She deserved the truth, and maybe now that she knew her parents were once like she was, maybe they had a chance to bring her back from the pit of despair she was in. Jess began thinking about what they would be doing if Lori had never met the 24-year-old pervert. Oh, what could have been.

**A/N:** Did you like this chapter? Oh my God! I read the first few chapters of ITTGBTY and it sucked, my friends. I can't wait to get some free time so I can completely edit the story and put TONS more detail into it YAY! Please Review!!! I want to know what you think!!!


	8. Breakthroughs and Breakdowns

**Disclaimer:** GG isn't mine, it isn't mine, it isn't mine!

**A/N: **I'M SOOOOOO SORRY! I'm a terrible person who should be locked in a dungeon.

**Thanx:** To my wonderful beta, Molly! And of course to the readers who have stuck by me through this awful dry spell!

**Chapter 8:** Breakthroughs and Breakdowns

Rory took a deep breath as she walked down the hall towards her daughter's room. She hadcried all ofher tears out, and Luke made her eat a sandwich. Even though she wasn't hungry, she ate it for him and now she actually felt better. She suddenlystopped in her tracks as she witnessed Jess and her daughter in an embrace. They had always gotten along until Lori began to change. Rory weakly smiled, and Jess turned his head and saw her for the first time. Pulling away from Lori, he stood up to leave the two women alone. Women. He still thought of Lori as a little girl, but Jess knew she wasn't anymore.

"Hi." Lori whispered as her mother entered the room. "I'm sorry I worried you."

Rory sighed, "I know you are. I don't understand why you thought you were fat, though. You were perfect."

Lori lowered her eyes, still unable to believe those words. "I just... I just feel bad about myself. I don't know how to fix it, either."

"Well, you can start by telling me why you stopped eating."

"Okay, it was Josh," Lori admitted. "He told me I ate too much, so I started cutting down. Once I started, though, it was hard to stop. Anytime I was around him I avoided eating anything at all, and he seemed to like me more. I thought he loved me."

"It _was_ Josh," Rory said, with anger in her voice.

Lori nodded and looked down, biting her bottom lip. She hated telling her parents this, but she knew that if she didn't, her disorder would never go away. Part of her didn't want to ever get better, but the stronger side was the one making her tell her mother about why it all started.

"I have to tell you something else."

"What?" Rory asked, almost afraid.

Lori took a deep breath. "Josh isn't eighteen, like I told you. He's twenty-four."

Rory's mouth fell open as she stared in shock at her naive daughter. That grown man had taken advantage of Lori. He had used her until she had nothing left to give, and then he left her broken and hurting. Rory couldn't imagine how much this had been tearing at her daughter, and she now saw that in a way it wasn't all Lori's fault.

"Oh, Lori. Why didn't you tell me?"

Lori sighed, "I thought you wouldn't let me date him. I really loved him."

Tears threatened to fall from her eyes and her voice cracked. The silhouette of a young man came into the doorway, and when Lori saw the concerned face looking at her, the tears started to pour. She sat there and cried for her family because of what she put them through. She cried for her friends because of how she had rattled their nerves. And finally, she cried for herself and what Josh did to her.

Jess sat down and ran a hand through his messy hair. Luke and Lorelai watched his internal struggle from the other end of the waiting room. They had never seen him so . . . lost before. Even when he was an angry teenager that had no direction, he still didn't seem as far off-course as he was at the moment. His brow was scrunched together like he was concentrating freakishly hard on the floor tiles below his feet. Luke knew Jess could probably use someone to talk to, so he gave Lorelai a peck on the cheek and then walked over to his nephew.

"How are you holding up?"

Jess was silent for a moment before he answered, his eyes never leaving the floor. "I could have killed him, Luke. I could have killed that son of a bitch."

Luke raised an eyebrow at his nephew. "Who?"

"That . . . that pervert, who made Lori turn into this," he stated firmly, lifting his eyes from the floor.

The anger radiating from Jess' dark eyes was enough to burn a hole into Luke's heart. Taken aback, Luke watched Jess look back down at the stark white linoleum. He seemed utterly defeated, as if it was all his fault that Lori had an eating disorder. Luke sat down beside Jess and put a hand on the young man's back. Luke's hand began to shake against Jess' hunched form, and he realized that Jess was crying. It shocked him at first, but then he pulled Jess into a sitting position and hugged him. Luke thought it might feel weird, but it actually felt relieving. The two of them had a strained relationship; even though they knew they loved each other, it wasn't something they vocalized.

Lorelai smiled from her seat as she watched the two interact. She was glad Jess could talk to someone. It was obvious that he was struggling with some personal demons. Movement in the corner of her eye made Lorelai turn her head. Her daughter was standing there looking completely exhausted. Lorelai stood up and hurried towards where Rory had stopped.

"Rory, honey. Are you alright?"

"She cried. She finally let out all the hurt and anger she's been feeling out."

Lorelai smiled knowing this was a breakthrough for Lori. The teen had needed a good cry for the last couple of months, and now she had it. Rory had hugged her and let her sob for a while, and she watched as Riley sat down on the bed next to Lori. Rory had felt hurt when her daughter pulled away from her, but she knew how close Riley was to her. Rory had watched them together for a moment before leaving to find her mother.

"That's great," Lorelai replied and hugged her daughter.

A doctor walked up to the two women and asked to speak to Rory. She timidly stepped away from her mother and found herself alone with the doctor.

"Your daughter is doing much better, physically. She will, however, need a few months of therapy before she can truly be over her eating disorder. The next month will be extremely hard for her, but you are going to have to make sure she eats well."

Rory nodded, and he continued. "If she continues to do well, she should be able to leave the hospital tomorrow. Luckily, you and your husband brought her in before her weight lossbecame too serious."

"Thank you, doctor," Rory said quietly, and she smiled.

The doctor walked away and she returned to her mother's side and repeated what the doctor told her. They hugged each other, but they both had the same fear.

What if Lori didn't get better?

Lori and Riley held each other for several minutes before finally pulling away. He tenderly wiped the tears from Lori's cheeks, and kissed her forehead.

"You scared me. I had no idea it had become so serious."

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Neither did I. It's just that I was hurting so much and I thought he might like me if I was able to get skinnier. I know it was stupid, but in my mind it was a perfectly sane idea."

"Lori, you are perfect no matter what. I love you, and if that jackass couldn't see how wonderful you really are then that's his problem."

Lori grinned, "Yeah, to heck with that asshole."

Riley was so happy to see her smile again. He had missed seeing her happy and that was the first true smile he'd seen on her face in several months. Grinning mischievously, he picked up a comb from the night table and brought it to his mouth using it like a microphone.

"So, Ms. Mariano. Now that you're feeling better and have your feet on the ground what are you going to do?" he asked her, in a mock gameshow host voice.

"Well Kent, I'm going to eat regularly and play music," she answered in an annoyingly perky voice.

"And what about Joshua?"

"To heck with that asshole!" she yelled.

"Well there you have it. I believe we have a fully-rehabilitated Lorelai Gilmore Mariano."

Lori broke into a fit of giggles. She actually wanted to go home and have amovie night with her mom and grandma. Food seemed to be calling to her and she couldn't believe how hungry she had been lately. Even when she would eat, but throw up the food, she was only full for five minutes before that hollow feeling would invade her body again.

"So, what movies are we going to watch when I get out of here?"

Jess pulled away from Luke and felt slightly embarrassed. Okay, extremely embarrassed. The last time he had cried like that was. . . he couldn't remember ever crying like that. Luke slapped him on the back, though, as if to tell him it was okay. Then he left. Jess was very grateful that Luke didn't make a big deal about it, and sent him a silent thank-you. Luke knew Jess couldn't turn to Rory, so he had just been bottling up his emotions.

Luke walked over to Lorelai, and Rory smiled and headed over to where her husband was sitting. She noticed immediately that his eyes were red and there were tearstains on his cheeks, but she didn't want to ask him about it. Rory knew Jess would come to her when he was ready and in the meantime, she would just try to send him silent support.

"Guess what? Lori should be out of the hospital by tomorrow."

"Really? Thank God."

"I know. Riley's with her right now. He's such a good kid."

"Yeah," Jess agreed.

He remembered how excited Lori had been when she came home rambling about joining a band. He hadn't really believed her, but the next day a young teen showed up at their house saying he was busy tracking down a drummer. Jess had immediately liked the guy because his relationship with Lori was purely platonic. He thought the boy could watch out for his daughter. And even through all ofthe terrible things that had happened to Lori, Riley was still sitting in her room with her.

The time passed quickly, and soon it was time for Lori to go home. Lorelai and Luke were going back to Stars Hollow after they got Lori settled back at home. They promised they'd come back the next weekend so they could bring her clothes with her. Lori had never felt so weak in her life as she tried to walk from the wheelchair to the car. Her dad actually had to help her into the back seat, and that frightened her a little. She felt old as she sat very still trying to catch her breath.

She was already starting to feel anxious about having to eat dinner that night, but she decided to focus all her energy on making it home. She would deal with eating once she got back to their apartment. Riley was going to be there for dinner, and that eased her anxiety. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't even realized they had stopped. Her dad helped her out of the car again and they walked towards the stairs. Lori internally groaned as she remembered the last time that she tried to climb these stairs.

Jess wanted to carry Lori up, but the doctor had told them to limit their assistance. Lori needed to realize how much she hadhurt her body, and the only way she could do that would be if she had to walk on her own. Jess stood behind her as she began to climb. He kept his hands out in case she fell, but he watched her pull herself up.

Lori felt like she had just ran a marathon, and now they were telling her she had to climbfifteen staircases before she could rest. Her entire body felt worn out, and she wished her dad would help her. She lifted her right foot up, but she slipped and found herself falling backwards. Lori let out a yelp, but she felt her father's arms around her. He scooped her into his arms and carried her into their apartment.

As he carried her, Lori thought about what her father had told her in the hospital. Her parents had been so in love, and she could feel the strain she had been putting on them. When her father reached the apartment, she leaned her head towards him.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I love you," she whispered.

Jess smiled and set her down, opening the door. Once he helped her inside, he hugged her small feeble frame.

"It's okay, Dodger. I love you, too," he whispered.

Lori smiled and slowly walked over to the couch. Rory walked in a second later, followed by Luke and Lorelai. Rory told them they were welcome to stay for dinner, but they knew they should get back. Although Nate had assured them he was fine, he was a teenage boy, after all.

"We should get going," Lorelai told the family as she hugged each member goodbye.

Luke followed her example, and soon they were out of the apartment and heading towards his truck. The small family on the inside of the apartment looked at each other, knowing the next few months would be hard, but that they could get through it together.


End file.
